Three Ways to Argue Smarter in Marriage
I hesitated about writing this post. 99.9% of the time, in the wedding industry, we read about how absolutely blissful marriage is. About how we should love our spouses well and honor them. And all of those things are true - oh, so true! My husband and I are coming up on our five year anniversary and I am still in the blissful stage - and hope I never leave it!
But when you're immersed in the wedding industry where engagement and marriage are rosy and sweet and charming, you can sometimes feel like the odd person out when you're feeling frustrated with your spouse. Believe me, friend, you are not alone! When you are spending hours upon hours and days upon days with one person for all of eternity, you are bound to get frustrated with one another!
Not the most fun thing to read about, but important nonetheless, here are three tips to argue smarter in marriage so you move forward into that blissful state much quicker:
Communication is key. Just like any other aspect of your marriage, communication is so important when you and your spouse have differing opinions. Be open, honest, and willing to listen, too. Don't talk for the sake of talking, but talk so that it moves the conversation forward so you can come to an agreement quicker.
Know and understand your arguing patterns. Some of you may feel it's best to walk away from a disagreement for a little while, but some of you may want to nip it in the bud right away and get back to your normal routine. And you and your spouse may just have opposing views on that, too. Understand and respect each other's patterns and decide before disagreements occur how you'll compromise on finding a solution. Will you be okay with handling it right away if you normally prefer to take a breather? Talk these things through (read: communicate!) so you're on the same page if you do have a disagreement.
Agree that you're always on the same team. In the end, know and understand that you're both on the same team and are working towards the same ultimate goal of a happy, fulfilling marriage. Think about whether or not your disagreement is really worth arguing about. Bring your conversations full-circle and remind one another what it is you love about each other and your marriage and move past it.
I know there's so much more complexity involved in each individual relationship, and that some disagreements dig deeper than others, but for the most part if you agree to remain open with one another, and communicate clearly, you'll be able to move past your disagreements much quicker and build a stronger bond between the two of you in the long run.