25 Ways to Love Your Spouse
Today I'm sharing something with you that may seem so completely obvious, but hear me out, okay? I know there are a billion and one ways to love your spouse - and many of them are only ways that you can love your spouse, in a very specific way. But sometimes life gets busy and complicated and stressful, and we forget to show our spouse just how much we love them with our day-to-day activities.
Here are 25 easy ways to love your spouse. My hope is that some of these will be new to you and you can begin implementing them into your own marriage right away.
- Send him a text message just to say hi. It's so easy for us to get caught up in our day-to-day activities and plan on seeing our spouse at the end of the day, but a sweet, simple text just to say hi in the middle of the day does more than you think. It reminds your spouse you are on their mind, you are thinking of him mid-day, and sparks a moment of happiness in both of you.
- Take out the trash. Well, maybe it's not taking out the trash that does it, but do one of those tasks that is normally "assigned" to your spouse. I don't know about you, but when my husband does one of those chores I despise (even though it only takes a minute or two out of my day) without my asking him, my heart skips a beat.
- Make her coffee just the way she likes it. By now, I'm very familiar with how my husband likes his coffee, and he knows just how I like mine. It's always a treat when one of us gets up first on a Saturday and makes the other's coffee just how we like it. This works great for tea, too, if you're not a coffee drinker.
- Plan a surprise date. Plan a date for this weekend without even mentioning it to your spouse. My husband and I have a really hard time keeping secrets from one another, but when we're able to plan something without spilling the beans, it's truly a joy for the other partner. It doesn't have to be elaborate - even planning and preparing a picnic in your backyard would be a happy surprise!
- Get his favorite treat at the grocery store. I admit, I'm a little strict when it comes to grocery shopping. I load up on veggies, almond milk, water, and lots of good-for-you foods. But occasionally, I surprise my husband with one of his favorite grocery store treats. It's such an easy and delightful way to brighten their day!
- Make the bed. This one I owe to my husband. He knows how much I enjoy a freshly made bed, so he makes the bed for me every. single. day. I know it's not fun for him, but he knows how happy it makes me, so he continues to do it each day.
- Tell him (specifically) how handsome he is. I don't mean just telling them they are beautiful/handsome. I mean really look at them and tell them how beautiful they are in your eyes. Is he wearing that baby blue button-up you love so much? Tell him! Did she style her hair just like you like it? Tell her! Sometimes we feel like those things go unnoticed, and a reminder every once in a while that you really take note is important.
- Pray for him or her. When my husband is going through something at work or personally that I just feel is out of my control, I say a prayer for him. It's one of those little gestures that gives us both strength to get through the tough situations.
- Put your phone down when they are talking. You know how annoying it is to have a friend or colleague staring at their phone when you are talking, so why is it okay with your spouse? Even if it's just a casual afternoon or conversation, put your phone down and really focus on them.
- Get his oil changed. Another one my husband is good at! I despise, I mean despise getting maintenance work done on my car. There are too many other things I could be doing with my time! It's truly a joy when my husband mentions to me that he changed my oil (or filled my car with gas or renewed my license plates...). These tasks aren't fun for anyone, so show your spouse you care by occasionally getting them done for him.
- Plan his favorite meal. Weeknights can sometimes be a bit monotonous. Work, come home, eat, sleep, get up and do it all again. Add a little happiness to your mid-week routine by fixing your spouse's favorite meal - don't wait until the weekend, do it now! A mid-week treat is a wonderful way to break up the week, and hopefully have an impromptu at-home date night!
- Greet your spouse with your undivided attention. If you're already home when your spouse arrives, greet them with your full attention. You married each other because you enjoy being around one another, so show him that the moment he arrives!
- Listen....really listen to her. I mean, turn off your own chattering brain for a few minutes. Really listen to her when she is talking to you.
- Let the small things go. You know that thing that annoyed you earlier today and you're still annoyed about it? Is it really worth arguing over? Probably not. Learn to let the unimportant things go - you'll be a much more content person in a much happier marriage.
- Leave a love note for them to find. A few years ago, my husband was traveling for business for over a week. Before he left, he managed to leave sweet love notes all over the place for me to find - the bathroom mirror, my purse, my bedside table. It was such a joy to find them and showed me he knew how tough it was going to be to have him gone for so long. Even if your spouse isn't traveling, leave a love note in their briefcase, lunch bag, car - anywhere you can think of that will be a sweet surprise for him!
- Stop bringing up that thing that really made you mad a long time ago already. Remember that thing you got angry about several year ago that you never ever ever even remember until you get annoyed again? Stop. Just stop. It's in the past, it's likely already been resolved, and it's definitely not worth bringing up now (or fair game to revisit).
- Compromise. Oh mannnnn, compromising can be so incredibly tough sometimes! Unless you really, really, really, really, really feel like you can't compromise just this once....go for the compromise. I promise you, in about three days you probably won't even remember what you had to compromise on.
- Give him home projects you know he will enjoy. Not projects you think he will enjoy. But literally, projects you know he will enjoy. My husband enjoys tinkering in his garage aka man cave with lots of random tools and weird things I have no idea what to do with. So, when we need something new built - like a shelf or raised bed for our garden - he gets that task. If he needs baked goods made for work, he asks me to help. Neither of us feels bad asking the other to do something we love, and we both benefit from it. Win-win!
- Trust him to make sound decisions for your family. This might seem like a no-brainer, but it's here just in case. When I travel to wedding events, I can sometimes be gone for up to a week at a time. While I do make sure there's plenty of healthy food in the house, I also trust that my husband knows what to do when I'm not around - he was a bachelor once, after all. He's my spouse - my best friend, confidante, better half - not a child. I don't need to annoy him by reminding him what day trash day is, what day the dogs go to the vet, how to unload the dishwasher, or to brush his teeth before bed.
- Run an errand for him. Most errand-type places we need to go to are within a few miles of our home, but it's still super annoying to run "one quick errand", know what I mean? It's never quick, and it's never just one. Whether you have zero plans to go out one day, or have a full day of errands ahead, take the opportunity every once in a while to knock one of those errands off your spouse's to-do list. It's a really easy way to show how much you care.
- Ask questions. Sometimes it's easy to get into a routine of chit-chat. The "How was your day?" and "What do you want for dinner?" oftentimes become a routine we don't even realize we are asking. Ask your spouse real questions and really listen (see #13 above) to him. Ask the nitty-gritty details about their day. Ask how he is really feeling. Ask her questions that aren't part of the daily routine - but questions that are a part of your future together. Take her by surprise with your questions.
- Plan an errand-free, chore-free, stress-free day. These may turn out to be some of your most fun adventures together! You don't even have to plan anything in particular - just plan not to do errands, chores, or anything stressful. It can be anything from lounging on the sofa listening to the rain and eating takeout to being tourists in your own city and trying out new restaurants and museums. Whatever it is, just enjoy being together without a single burden of stress on yourselves.
- Play into his or her love language. You'll probably hear me talk a lot around here about the love languages quiz. The love languages quiz really made my husband and I see and understand what the other person needed in our marriage, and both of us immediately started playing into one another's love language. (Remember #6 above? My love language is "Acts of Service" and my husband started making the bed the day after we took the quiz and he learned that about me. Remember #1 above? My husband's love language is "Words of Affirmation" and I immediately started sending him surprise texts when I learned that about him.) You may think you know what your spouse needs - and you may be partly right - but the love languages quiz will help solidify what makes sparks fly for both of you. Bonus: it makes it so much easier for you to know how to specifically love your spouse when you learn what they respond to!
- Practice good manners. It's easy for us to forget our good manners with loved ones we also live with. We don't always have to clear the dinner table or have to hold the door open or have to say "Please" and "Thank you." But don't ever let your good manners escape yourself with your spouse, just because they are constantly there. Good manners show how gracious you are, and you always, always want your spouse to know, without a doubt, how very grateful you are for him and everything he does for you.
- Say "I love you" over and over and over again. I saved the most obvious one for last, because it is often the one that's easily overlooked, too. Remember to tell your spouse how much you love them constantly. Even to the point of being annoying, perhaps (okay, maybe not that much). There should never, ever, ever be a doubt in your spouse's mind that you love him or her, and it hurts no one for you to remind your spouse several times a day, so make sure you're doing just that.